I have spent a huge amount of time waiting to speak to someone this week. Because of these volcanic interruptions, I have had to hunt down my airlines to find out what the hell is going on with my flights. But let's start at the beginning.
Saturday: I get a call from my father to wish me happy birthday and check in before my flight. He tells me there is a volcano in Iceland that is keeping all the flights in Europe on the ground. I think "WTF?" and call my airline, Jet Airways (not to be confused with Jet Blue), an Indian company and the cheapest way to get into Europe these days. I speak to someone who tells me that, yes, some flights are grounded, but mine is not until Monday evening and this definitely should all be cleared up by then. So I get on my flight to New York on Sunday morning, confident that I will be arriving in Marseilles Tuesday morning.
Sunday: I fly from San Francisco to NYC to see my sister and take a connecting flight to France the next day. We eat amazing food at Dinosaur BBQ in Harlem, have a lovely chat during dinner and I go to bed happy and assured that tomorrow my next adventure begins.
Monday: I wake up and book my shuttle to the New Jersey airport (it's a really long way from Harlem and my suitcase is disgustingly heavy). I decide to call Jet Airways again, just to check and make sure everything is running smooth before I get there for my flight. I wait on hold for an hour and a half. Finally someone picks up the phone, but the connection is horrible and all I can hear is something about how flights are now being re-routed through Athens. Then the line cuts out. I think, "Well at least I can get over there," and try the number again. FOUR HOURS LATER, I still have not had an intelligible conversation with a human being.
During this purgatory of waiting I also get an email from my shuttle company saying that I cancelled my reservation and would I mind filling out a customer satisfaction survey? So I call the shuttle company and say, "What the hell?" They tell me that the price quoted on the website was wrong so the computer automatically cancelled my reservation. At this point, the company was fully booked. They gave me the number for another shuttle service. Great. I book the other, more expensive shuttle service.
As far as my flight is concerned, I decide to that all I can do at this point is go down to the airport and see what's what. (I still have not talked to a human being.) So my shuttle arrives, I lug my huge suitcase into the back of the van and settle in for the long ride to Jersey. I travel exactly one block and my phone rings. It's Jet Airways calling to tell me that my flight has been cancelled. I wonder at the huge irony of this. I have just spent $28 to go exactly one block on the shuttle, spent 5 1/2 hours on hold with this airline and two minutes before locked my sister's keys in her apartment. Now I am stuck on a sidewalk in Harlem with a ginormous suitcase, no flight and a shuttle that is of absolutely zero use to me. And, Marilyn from Jet Airways informs me, they have no idea when the flight will be rescheduled. Maybe Thursday.
Today: Jet Airways is now more than willing to fly me to Brussels. Alas, dear Jenny, this is but one leg of your flight to cheese heaven. Air Brussels (which is supposed to take me from Brussels to Marseilles) is being a real snatch-ho about getting me to France. I called their customer service line about my great news ("Hey guys, I can be in Brussels tomorrow morning!") and those damn Belgians gave me the slap down; "Miss, this is a volcano. We have no control over it and cannot tell you when we will be operating the flight into Marseilles (insert grating, condescending Belgian accent here)." Me: "Can you guess?" Snatch-ho: "We do not try to guess when it concerns the whims of nature." Me: "So are you gonna call me when I can fly out?" Snatch-ho: "No, there are too many passengers for us to call each one. Check the website each day. Pray that the Icelandic volcano god relents."
I'm thinking about sacrificing a seal.
Oh wow, that sounds so awesome! Like, I'd love to have an experience like the one you're having right now! Um, no.
ReplyDeleteGirl, these are the stories that make us laugh out loud after a year's time. All the same, I hope you have no further fodder for future comedy. Let's get this show on the road, I say.
That's why I wrote the post. It makes it seem at least mildly amusing. Maybe only blandly amusing.
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