Self Regard

I've had a lot of time to ponder these days. Sometimes that feels like a blessing and sometimes it makes my brain want to gnaw its way out of my skull from too much overprocessing. One thing I keep thinking about is this little phrase that does sommersaults in my mind and keeps me guessing.

Self-regard
Regarding the self

We all know of self-regard as it means something like self-esteem or positive self-image. I wonder these days how much that comes down to just looking at yourself. Looking in the same way that you would look at the rain coming down, or the road that you're traveling. Just looking for the sake of looking. Not looking to have an opinion or to find something. I wonder if this is the beginning of good self-regard. Just to look without judgment and be able to say "Yup, that's me." Whether its your short temper or your beautiful voice. Either one, just to look and know and stop with all the criticism and praise.

When
No one is looking
I swallow deserts and clouds
And chew on mountains knowing
They are sweet
Bones!
When no one is looking and I want
To kiss
God
I just life my own hand
To
My
Mouth

HAFIZ

Oh, Hafiz

This
Sky where we live
Is no place to lose your wings
So love, love
Love.

Cassandra the Traveling Velociraptor

Me and Cassandra go back a couple years to a friend's birthday bash in San Francisco. She was originally just a party favor, tossed into the drink I was having that evening for a laugh (the dinosaur, not the friend). By the end of the night she had a name, a back story and a very special purpose. She is named for the prophetess from the Iliad, Cassandra, high-priestess of doom. In Homer's tale, Cassandra foretells the falling of Troy, but alas, no one believes her. Of course she loses her marbles when the city is sacked. Isn't it always a recipe for madness when we're speaking God's honest truth and no one will listen? So Cassandra, seer that she is, became the obvious choice for a traveling companion. Who better to tell you when you're about to get into trouble than a three inch plastic dinosaur? What could possibly be more useful on an adventure?

In a inexplicable twist of logic, she became the good luck charm and has gone with me on all important journeys since that party three years ago. Cassandra is now my only constant companion on my six month journey. While I wasn't traveling, she sat on my desk at work, beckoning me to get moving again. So now she has her wish...another grand adventure. It sure is a good thing she fits into my pocket so easily...the party favors that night could have been those obnoxious giant teddy bears that you win at the fair.

My first night in Hawaii, I put Cassandra on my dresser to get acquainted with the new digs. She instantly made a new best friend. A little iridescent blue and green bug was completely enamored of her. He just hung out, worshiping at the feet of her orangeness, long enough for me to take a gazillion pictures. When I switched rooms last week, he followed her. I like to think that the bug has a giantess fetish and that she is the answer to all is buggy dreams. We'll never know, but he sure does flip his long antennae around in a very courtly manner. I think if he had a little bow tie and the world's smallest bouquet of flowers, he'd bring them along when he comes to call. Cassandra appears, as yet, to be unmoved by his advances, but I think she'll eventually succumb. She's a persistent gal herself, so I think his ardor will win her over in the end. I'll be sure to keep all of you salivating masses of blog-devotees appraised of the romance.

My New Hood

So this WFOOFing thing is turning out to be a really prime deal. I am staying with a family on the north shore of the Big Island in Hawaii. They have a sustainable retreat with a big main lodge, some beautiful yurts and a spa area (currently under construction). The owners have been building the property from the ground up with their own hands for the past 8 years and it is truly amazing to see the fruits of their labors. They just opened a few months ago and I was their very first WWOOFer! You can check out the resort at here. There's a lot of love that's gone into creating this space and you feel it the moment you step onto the grounds.

I'm there to help put in a sustainable garden to feed everyone at the lodge. It's a small garden with about 12 raised beds, but soon enough there will be fresh vegetables and herbs for a retreat center full of guests. Down in the gulch next to the retreat, it's pretty jungley and there are lots of fruit trees with everything from ice cream bananas to passion fruit.

North Kohala is a rural area of the coast with two small towns, Kapa'au and Hawi. Both are towns in the are "blink and you'll miss it" sense of the word. Seems like there's about 10 stores in each one and maybe about 1500 residents between the two of them. It took me a couple days to realize that they were actually different towns with different names. A little Kohala history: North Kohala is the birthplace of the late, great Hawaiian king, Kemehameha I who united all the island under one rule shortly after Captain Cook discovered them in the late 19th century. There's a big statue of him in Kapa'au that gets decorated with leis and every year on King Kemehameha Day in June. Kohala used to be booming with the sugar industry (i.e. plantations, immigrant labor and cheap wages) up until the 1980's. Then the bottom fell out of the market here and now its mostly cute little shops for tourists. This means of lots of art galleries and restaurants. Ain't it quaint?

About five miles down the road from Hawi is the house I'm staying at with my host family. Its down a quiet lane with lots of cows and grass and mesquite trees.

It's a short walk down to the water and an awesome stretch of coastline. I just walked down tonight to see the sunset and check out the tide pools. Big black lava rocks and beautiful snorkeling water just steps from where I'm staying. Magical is probably the right word for it.

Farmer's Market Bonanza

The first thing that I wanted to do with my time off on the weekend was check out the farmer's markets. I'd been reading all about the local fruits and vegetables, most of which I'd never heard of before, and was really amped to try some new foods. The family I'm staying with lives on the north shore of the island in the Kohala district and the biggest farmer's markets in the area are in Waimea and Kona. Waimea, being awesome, has not just one, but TWO markets on Saturday morning, so right after coffee I headed over there with the other two WWOOFers staying at the house.

The first one we hit was pretty small, and kind of disappointing. Not much in the way of new produce, but it did have a little breakfast booth with Korean-style omelets, crunchy asian cookies and lots of flavors of kim-chee. I'll take any excuse to have bbq pork and pickled cabbage for my morning meal. The second market was at Parker School and they had more folks with prepared foods and some beautiful vegetables. And a little old man singing ukele songs in falsetto, which was totally darling. I was really impressed with the Sandwich Isle Bread Company stand. There was beautiful fresh bread coming out of a portable wood-burning oven sitting there in the sunshine. This guy (Kevin Cabrera) is something of a local legend, and folks line up early to claim the first loaves out of the oven. He gets his oven up to 600 degrees and can churn out a loaf of bread in minutes. I tried a few varieties, including his famous 20 seed bread, and it was heavenly and totally worth the hype. There was another vendor giving out samples of red veal sausage, a local specialty that comes from calves who have just started grazing on the pasture but have been weaned. Their diet and development gives the meat a distinct red color even when cooked. If you don't mind eating baby cows, it's totally tasty.

So Waimea had some cool artisanal stuff, but I was really wanting to just get down and dirty with exotic produce. We headed down to Kona and came upon a market on Alii Street (the main tourist drag) that was exactly the opposite of the markets in Waimea. It was clearly for tourists, not locals. There were crappy trinkets, shell necklaces and tee shirts with island motifs everywhere. And lots and lots of tropical fruits. Jackpot! It reminded me of the open air markets in the Bahamas and Jamaica with all their touristy junk and beads and smells, which I loved going to as a kid. It was busy with tourists milling around so I got to oggle the food as long as I liked and found tons of varieties of mangoes, papayas, bananas and checked out some new fruits I'd never seen before. I also apparently have a mango fairy godmother. Some random fellow plopped four bright and juicy mangoes in my hands as I was leaving with my dragon fruit. I'm a little afraid to eat them, fragrant as they are. Is it possible to put a crazy Hawaiian vodoo spell on a piece of fruit? I'm having delusions reminiscent of the evil witch in Snow White with her poison apple.

I was especially compelled by the dragon fruit, which just looks so damn exotic. It comes in both the yellow and fuschia varieties, with these amazing wings that spike off the outside of the vibrant skin. Opening them up is no disappointment either. They have firm bright pink flesh and little poppy-seed sized crunchy seeds. The flavor is a little disappointing, though. Mine was vaguely sweet but otherwise pretty bland. I did manage to get the red juice all over my hands and stain my fingers and lips sort of a violet color. I was really suprised at how much it reminded me of a perfectly cooked beet...

Me and my new WFOOFing buddies plopped down at a touristy place near the water and rewarded our morning labors with cheap happy hour cocktails while cooling our feet in the sand and looking at the sailboats in the bay.

How's Hawaii?

I've been getting this question a lot since I got here last week so I'll sum it up in a couple sentences. There are rainbows every day, it's that bloody magical. I wouldn't be surprised to see unicorns and mermaids every time I walk down to the water. As I mentioned on Facebook, I can't believe that gaggle of gay people haven't yet mobbed the place singing Judy garland tunes and claiming it as their ancestral homeland. And I can see Maui from the pool at my new house. Nuf said.

Cherries & Berries & Pie, Oh My!

If you come to Seattle's Pike Street Market, you must eat two things: 1) the clam chowder at the little stand in the picture and 2) the fresh doughnuts near the newsstand. The Market Grill is really tiny but they have clam chowder the way you always wished that it would be. Not gelatinous, fishy and flavorless. Not served in some crappy sourdough bread bowl to distract you from the fact that the clams still taste a little tinny. It's creamy, colorful and smooth, full of fresh herbs and perfect little potato cubes. I look forward to coming to here whenever I can make it to Seattle. It is also imperative that I go by the doughnut cart. It's run by some smelly, tattooed hipsters but you can ignore this because they have mastered the art of doughnut making. Perfect, sweet batter and the doughnuts are always hot, fresh and crispy. They give them to you by the dozen in a greasy paper bag and I always wish that I'd gotten more. In a perfect world I would have my own cart so that I could have these babies every morning for breakfast. I'm gonna keep that dream alive as long as I can (or as long as my cholesterol holds out).


And of course the most amazing seafood is here too. We chowed down on some grilled oysters and clams from Pike Street later that night. They are so pretty!

One of the things that Pike Street is famous for is that the workers throw the fish around the market. You may have heard of this. It's a gimmicky thing for tourists, but it's actually kind of cool so watch some strapping young man fling a 30 lbs fish over the heads of a gawking crowd. There has been a big controversy lately about the practice, and PETA is trying to shut it down. Their argument is that throwing around the carcass of an animal is disrespectful. Seriously? What about eating said animal? This seems a little ridiculous considering that said fish is soon going to be filleted, grilled and eaten, which registers a little higher up on my disrespect scale. It's already dead...I can't imagine that the fish minds at this point. So they did something even more ridiculous to protest the offensive practice. They all dressed up as fish and laid on the sidewalk half-naked. I kind of wonder if maybe they all just had some Burning Man costumes lying around that they were desperate to use again, so they hatched an elaborate scheme about the fish-throwing. At least that's what I would have done if I had a mermaid tail in my closet.

While I was wandering around the market with my folks, going to all my favorite vendors, we came upon another reason that I like this town so much: there in the middle of the thoroughfare was a pie eating contest, complete with adorable kids and adoring parents snapping photos. My cute-meter broke as I was watching it, that's how damn darling it was. This part of the country is so unashamedly podunk, even in the cities. I was just in Portland and had flashbacks to my Mid-Western childhood, with all its polite citizens and American Legion posts.

And there's nothing more Americana than cherry trees, with that George Washington story and all. I spend two lovely afternoons picking cherries in my dad's back yard and two even better morning eating cherry pie and drinking coffee. God bless the USA.