Paradise

Remember how earlier I posted my ridiculous sillogism for moving to Hawaii? In case you forgot, I'll recap:
A) You can't be miserable in paradise
B) Hawaii is as close to paradise as it gets in these United States
THEREFORE
C) If I move to Hawaii, I will no longer be miserable

Apparently my attention was wandering during college philosophy class, because the first thing they teach you is that if you build your pyramid of reason on a faulty premise, it all collapses in a big rubble heap on the floor. I was probably distracted by boy troubles back then too. Sheesh.
All that to say that I was wrong...you can be miserable in paradise if you have the following:

• an overactive brain (for those of you who actually know how to relax, your neurotic type A friends will thank you for employing this euphemism)
• a serious case if heartache (again with the totally lame boy troubles)
• too much time on your hands

Which is not to say that I am unable to enjoy myself here. I really am happy to be in the sun and the water every day and am grateful for the time to relax and do something different. Most days I love everything about being here. But some days my mind will not shut off. I see the wisdom of those ancient pharoahs who had their brains pulled out through their noses so they could get some eternal rest.

I'm trying to see my heartache through a different lens so can I evict the crazy people who moved into my head a few months ago. (You know the kind; they're constantly repeating those sharp, painful words that have been said to you over the years, and playing back all the sweet moments in your life that make you ache with longing. These crazy people know all your soft spots, goddammit.) I turned to my old friend Hafiz for some advice and here's what he said:

What is the key
To untie the knot of your mind's suffering?

What
Is the esoteric secret
To slay the crazed one whom each of us
Did wed?

And who can ruin
Our heart's and eye's exquisite tender
Landscape?

Hafiz has found
Two emerald words that
Restored
Me

That I now cling to as I would sacred
Tresses of my Beloved's
Hair

Act great.
My dear, always act great.

What is the key
To untie knot of the mind's suffering?

Benevolent thought, sound
And movement.

Most days I find that I can manage to be benevolent in maybe one or two of these areas...for about five minutes...when I'm sleeping. But hey, it's a start. Like juggling, you can't keep all three balls in the air on your first try. And did you know that the word paradise is derived from the Arabic word for garden? Seems like at least I landed in the right spot, and now it's just up to me to tame my inner crazies and remember to act great.